The Crazy Old Man and the Idea That Struck Him

The Crazy Old Man

It was a time of great grief. It was a time, when the Great War was slowly eating away the brains of the people; not to mention the plague. It was a time, when all you could see around you were murderers, looters, rioters, rapists and maybe a couple of philosophers or revolutionists who, after ranting a lot about human race, reason, war and peace, either ran away or were hanged. The hungry ones died as usual. The rich either escaped to a better place or, like the others, died after making a lot of noise and bloodshed.

But these were the last things that bothered The Crazy Old Man who spent most of his time in a cave. Actually he lived in there and only came out for ingestion and excretion purposes. The cave was situated in a not so thick jungle, miles away from what he would have said, by showing an air quote gesture, “civilization”, if he knew what a “quote” or “civilization” meant. He didn’t know how to read or write. He didn’t know how to speak either, but he definitely wasn’t dumb. He doesn’t talk to people as there aren’t many around in the jungle (none). Therefore he had never really found a good use of the gift of language. (No, he never talked to animals either.)

The Crazy Old Man had lived there for Fifty Years. Five decades of solitude is not really a sane man’s daily cup of coffee. But for the insane, it just might be, as it was the case here. The Crazy Old Man believed that everybody else, were out there to cause trouble in his life. But if you were to ask him to tell you an incident that led him to such a belief, he would go into a deep contemplation and finally say “I don’t remember” (that is to say, if he knew how to speak and if he ever spent time on self-contemplation). The only thing he remembered about his past was the belief.

In the morning he would go out hunting for food in the vicinity. He ate fruits, vegetables, leaves and once in a while, a helpless animal. After having his meal he would go to the cave and make loud noises which produce echoes in the cave. He would then reply to the echo by, again, making loud noises and so on. After a hard and satisfying conversation with his echoes, he would just lie on the ground and stare upwards, thinking about, as the believers would say, God knows what; or as the atheists would say, who knows what? Sleep would follow. This was his daily routine and miraculously, for past fifty years nothing had put a stop to this routine until that fateful day.

The Fateful Day

If you had stayed in that jungle for a week, which is highly unlikely, you would have expected the loud noises to come from the cave just before noon. But if you had been there for past Fifty years, which is extremely unlikely, you wouldn't have expected the noises to stop as soon as it had begun. You would have been curious enough to go into the cave and check out on him. If you had gone into the cave and said, “Hello! Are you alright?” you would be met with more loud noises or perhaps even a bang on the head as he wouldn’t have expected you in there. But if you had made yourself invisible by the help of some ingenious scientific invention and then went in, you would have found him staring right at you. Actually he isn’t staring at you but towards the exit of the cave. If you would have looked closely you would have seen his face trying hard to express astonishment after fifty years of containing a monotonous expression. What had happened to him can only be explained from my point of view as I am the one who is telling story and you have no business hanging around in the cave. Now if you would please go back to wherever you have come from, I’ll continue telling the story. Gracias

It was a normal noon or at least it appeared to be so. That day he was lucky enough to have found a dead rabbit. He had his food and then began the conversation. But something happened when he the uttered a monosyllable which sounded like “MLAAAH”. Perhaps it was something about the echo or the maybe the monosyllable itself. Perhaps it was the food. Something struck his mind. A thought, it was. But it was weird. Never before had a thought such as this crossed his insane mind. He didn't know what to do. He stared towards the exit for a while thinking about the thought, probably. He then started moving towards the exit and came out. The jungle was as usual filled with noises. Those noises further made him think about the thought. For the first time in 50 years, he was outside during the afternoon, staring at the ground and thinking about God knows what or who knows what? Anyway it seemed to be a revolutionary thought as it made him break his routine. It could be an idea that could probably change his life. It could even change the way the world was then. It could have led to end of the depression and the War. Who knows?

After a while he looked straight (at nowhere in particular). It definitely was an idea. Perhaps it might be an urge to test it out; anyway he suddenly started galloping straight towards nowhere. He ran and ran and ran and ran. He saw monkeys. He saw an elephant. He saw a dear. He saw a tiger. He saw a Hyena. Anyway he ran and ran and ran and ran until he reached someplace he couldn't recognize. He looked around and saw vast expanse of greenery. He ran away from it. Perhaps he didn't like the way the green was spread all around him. He ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran until he reached another place devoid of green. He didn't stay there long. Perhaps it wasn't his favorite color. He ran and ran and ran and ran and ran until he found himself in the middle of a fight between two Rhinos. Somehow he felt that he shouldn't be there. So he ran away from there too. He ran and ran and ran and ran and ran until suddenly he couldn't feel the ground below him. He felt like being sucked into a wormhole. Of course he didn't know what a wormhole was, but you would have felt the same way in his stead. He felt like screaming and the feeling felt enjoyable. But he didn't. He was probably thinking about the thought. The idea. It began giving him weirder thoughts and he began to like them. He looked upwards. It felt like things were going away from him. Maybe it was the urge to try out the idea, he wanted to go back. He tried kicking his leg in the air, but he didn't move up. He was going further down. A vast expanse of greenery was now heading towards him. Maybe it’s because he was astounded at the sight of things coming towards him in fashion he has never seen before. He uttered the same monosyllable that started the whole thing, followed by a laugh for the first time in fifty years which sounded like….. MLAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

And then it was WHAM!!! SPLAT!!!!!

The Crazy Old Man thus took the idea to his grave.

You can now go back to your pointless endeavors. Thank you for reading. J

The End